If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
