I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize