when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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