Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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