I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize