forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
