I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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