don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize