I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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