i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize