Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
