all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
