I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
