You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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