I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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