Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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