They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
