i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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