well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize