I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
