i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
