You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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