It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
