My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
