I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
