i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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