There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
