Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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