the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
