Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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