I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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