I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
