We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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