Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
