Sponge bath it is.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
