That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
