im six kinds of drunk right now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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