Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
