Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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