She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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