Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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