Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
