I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your penis caused this!
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