my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
