THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
