No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
