She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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