I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
