this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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