I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
