i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize