Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
