Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
