I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
