No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
