my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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