you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
