Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
