no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize