Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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