YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
