Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
