worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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