I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
