STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Semen is not good for contacts.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
