Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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