She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
