I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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