Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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