I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
