My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
