so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
