bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
