would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Holy shit dude........stairs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
