Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
