nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
