I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
