Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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