Sacagawea was the original milf.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
