Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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