I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
