I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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